Seeking Advice, Sharing, & Help

[Lips2Cock]

Hi Guys,
I am fairly experienced in fisting off and on over the years, but moreso in the last year or so, but have never fisted a newbie, so cannot help myself with the info and guidance I am seeking now. Was only in 2008 that I learned from a good, caring top with 7.5" x 6" of cock that being fucked does Not have to hurt and can be Very Pleasurable. Since then I have mostly enjoyed exploring my bottom side although size is still somewhat of a concern for me since I have not encountered a cock any larger yet. After fisting a couple of guys in March they wanted to play with my hole. Love that! I trust one of them implicitly. Have enjoyed him working, playing, and stretching my hole and was shocked how far he got as quickly as he did without any pain at all! He has fairly small hands like mine that form a cone shape like mine. He has opened me and gotten all 5 fingers in to the widest part of his hand (behind the fat part of thumb across to the fleshy part of the outside of the hand) without any pain. But he has reached the "wall" and the Intense Burning at that point and cannot get in any farther. He says he can do no more at that point and it is up to me to relax more and let him in. Don't know how to relax anymore than I have at that point. Have used poppers and breathing techniques. I have only been on my back in a sling. He says it is important to maintain visual contact with my eyes and know what I am feeling and how I am doing. Wants me to take his hand naturally and enjoy all the sensations of getting there to experience the "awesome, unimaginable pleasure" of taking my first hand inside me and love it as much as he does. Have wondered if being on all fours might make it easier at that point.
Any and all advice, sharing, and help you guys offer will be appreciated. Yes, I have used some dildos and butt plugs, but the LARGE plug he sent me home with is awkward to use by myself. Cannot get it in as far as he does. He says if I can get it in to the next (and last) ring I will be able to take a hand.
Thanks Guys!

[Buster]

Dear Gentle Reader ~ i have been getting fisted for almost 20 years now (off & on) and still... i have to start out on all fours. That way i can just kind of back up on the fist. This tricks my brain into thinking i am in control, i guess.
Once i am opened up & relaxed.... i can flip over onto my back with legs up. No matter how much i trust my Top - this is what works best for me.

Also... remember: in most fisting scenarios... the bottom IS the Top.
As for, 'He says it is important to maintain visual contact with my eyes' etc....
That's all very romantic & all but.... if it is not working for you then you must try another route. This is where you take control. Try backing up on fist at Your Own Pace.
Because nothing is going up your hole if you don't let it (not without injury anyways).
Good luck & happy fisting!
i hope this info will be of some help...

[FurryFFun]

Sometimes what works for me when I seem to have reached a point where I can't take any more, or the top feels that the "end" has been reached, is for me to take hold of his elbow with my hand and for me to provide a little extra "push". I don't think it is actually the force of my pulling his hand in to me that works, but the fact that my ass knows that I am in control, that opens my hole just a bit more. I, too, like the eye contact, not just for romantic reasons, but because the eyes tell me often before the voice does what is going on.
http://fs9.dudesnude.com/pic/5%2F57%2F459517331_3631575.jpg

[Lips2Cock]

Thanks Buster and Furry! I really appreciate you sharing! Like I said, I have never fisted a virgin and don't know how they react and the sensations, feelings (either physically or mentally or emotionally) they experience. Had been told about "the wall" and point of "intense burning" prior to entry but had NO idea what they were talking about until I experienced and felt it! Was kinda scary (that was the first hint of pain I had experienced) but not so much I don't want to continue and get that hand inside me, but have beileved I have to listen to "big brother" and do as he advises since he is an experienced fistee.
The eye contact and verbal connection is his thing. I do watch the eyes and face of fistees too and stay in constant touch verbally. Personally as a new wannabe fistee I am still a little self conscious about my position when I look into his eyes/face and verbally expressing my feelings and desire. I really just want to lay there and let it happen. Trust me, IF I have a problem or pain I would let him or any man Know! He says the verbal exchange and me expressing my feelings and desires relaxes me and intensifies the experience and pleasure. Hmmm...for me at this point, I think it distracts me from concentrating on relaxing and letting it happen.
He tells me there will always be a bond and connection with the first man who gets his hand inside me. BUT there is Nothing romantic about the relationship I have with big brother. He is a sub, pig boy who is versatile in some play. He wants to help me become the pig I want to become. He wants to take me to leather runs and parties he attends out of state and show me off and be proud of me. Says I will have to be able to take any cock and a hand to be admired, respected, desired, and invited back. There are Not many opportunities for play here and he knows my keen desire to meet men and enjoy bdsm play and alternative play activities. I feel fortunate to have him as a mentor and guide along my journey. The aspects of public and open and less intimate very personal play with my ass is not something I am comfortable with at this point though. But I do want to be accepted and gain the valuable experience with leathermen. Love pleasure and exploring new methods of it and pleasing another man, but have to be prepared and will not be reckless in my pursuits. Trust and comfort with situations are vital.
Thanks Again Guys! You are very helpful. I know the bottom is ultimately in control. Brother says it is best when my hole will suck his (or any) hand inside me. Have felt that from bottoms before.

[dragonfly]

Boy! you guys can really write. I believe that the so called "eye contact" and even worst spirituality about fisting is a huge BS. after all your eyes or your spirit has nothing to do with getting a huge hand up your ass; that's were the pleasure is, your cunt, been stretched and massaged and that cum coming out of your cock, every time you get a hand up your ass. Be realistic, if all fours is your best position, go for it. on your back, please yourself. I personally like my partner to lie down with his arm up till I slowly take the all arm to the elbow and my spirituality is just cuming cuming and more cum not saying the rosary. Please guys be realistic, you want sex, raw sex, that's why most of you like to be compared and called pigs, not to St.Frances.

[HansIndeep]

L2C and Others,
When first learning to take a hand, make sure the top knows what he is doing. Just because he has fisted an experienced hole (read "loose whore hole") before, does not mean he has the knowledge of how to navigate his hand in a tighter hole. Hitting a wall may be just that. In most holes the path through the secong ring needs to be established and lined up BEFORE the hand goes in all the way, then the hand can be gently navigated into the hole further. Make sure the top feels the path and second ring before shoving his hand ahead. The 2nd ring and hole may have to be gently aligned before guiding the hand further. Opening up the hole well before play AND just before play can make this easier. Use toys with width their full length. Do not use butt plugs for this - Using cone shaped plugs does nothing to help with the second ring or opening the hole for full depth play.

Hope this helps.

[latinguy]

I have to disagree with 'Dragonfly', the 'eye' contact is so that when you TOP someone the first place you get an 'indication' of either pleasure or pain is in someone's 'EYES.The second place of course is in the ass. A good top can
'FEEL' a bottoms hole and KNOW when it is time to go deeper, wider or harder. Try it and see with whoever you play with next. If your looking into the eyes you will see the effect of your fist there. As far as the spiritual aspect of fisting, it does NOT mean that you are particularly praying to anyone. It simply means that when your getting fisted, it is such a rush and puts you in such a state of 'Bliss' that it feels 'Spiritual'. I know, I've been there before when someone is doing me SO good that I go to another place. Call it 'raw' sex, call it whatever you want its an awesome feeling to have another man's hand in you and give you that Ultimate and Extreme pleasure. OF course the trust there is implicit because its both true. The bottom is in 'control' and the person who has there hand in you can cause REAL damage if its not done RIGHT.

[Lips2Cock]

THANKS HansIndeep and latinguy! YES, your sharing does help, Hans! I agree with you about experience. I have fisted many experienced fistees, but never a virgin, SO I have no idea of what is necessary, thus cannot help myself any at that point either. I heard fistees saying Relax yourself inside, Relax yourself inside! Hell, it is hard enough to learn to relax the 2 outer sphincters much less imagining how to relax myself inside!!! Not concerned about depth at this point and may never get into that. Just want a hand inside me and enjoy that awesome feeling as I am told it is.
"Big brother" is an experienced ass player in receiving and giving. I trust he knows what he is doing. But I like and see validity to what you say, Hans. He may be doing that. He has been Very Slow and Careful with me and has caused me NO pain or discomfort until that intense burning point. Told it is something all fistees have to get past and it will become less with experience, but a little is always there just prior to entry. Did not know what all the fistees meant by "the wall and intense burning point" until I experienced it. Brother will NOT push any further at that point! Says it is up to me from that point on.
Did not know that about butt plugs. Butt plugs and dildos are advocated in the fisting chat room on Recon. Told an inflatable butt plug and practicing expelling it will be of greatest benefit. Do you think I should invest in one? Have not had large dildos used on me. Have to say the taperedness of plugs and some dildos seem more advantageous to entry than a blunt end the same size of shaft. Seems the tapered provide gradual stretching of the hole and sphincters. Hard to understand your reasoning about that, But I welcome all the input I can get to help me understand and move forward properly and successfully. I welcome better understanding of your point on that, Hans, if you're willing.
latinguy, Thank You for reaffirming what I already know and believe from the intimate and very personal act of such sharing! I Love taking a guy to that special place of bliss that he goes and sharing it with him as only the 2 of us can. It is a great connection and experience for the top too! Of course I Love to please, so maybe it is just my personality. Activities should always be based in Mutual Pleasure and Satisfaction and that comes from the different perspectives and experiences of the roles involved at the moment. Respect and Trust in one another is Key for sure. I agree with you totally, latinguy.
Thanks Again, guys! Please keep the advice, opinions, and experiences coming. I'm sure there are many others out there who can and will benefit from this thread. I am Not a selfish man!

[HansIndeep]

L2C and others,
Plugs are fine and fun for what they are, butt they are not good to condition an ass for real fisting. The widest part helps stretch out the outer ring momentarily, butt the deeper parts of the hole never get stretched and conditioned wider. Guys that train on plugs typically can almost or just get a hand in, with deeper play being difficult because those areas have not been stretched. Train by working with dildos of increasing size. 3 toys per session works out well. Fuck the hole and lube it, open it, with the smallest first until you work up to a sloppy fuck, then go to the next largest...same....then largest you can take. Fuck the dildos at least 7" deep, (10"-12" is better) if you expect to take a hand to the wrist or beyond. You will find yourself quickly scaling up to larger and larger sizes for the 3 dildos you practice with. When you are fucking and riding a 3" or larger dia toy you will be ready to take a small hand. Going from a smaller max toy to a hand is pushing it or delusional.

Have FFun!

Hans

[Lips2Cock]

Thanks Hans, I understand now, what you mean. When I am working my hole myself I start out with my 6.5" x 4" vibrator. Then my 9" x 5" and 6.5" at base jelly dildo. Then my 8" x 5.5" head and 5" shaft dildo. That one seems to give me a better and harder workout since it is of harder rubber, yet pliable. The butt plug brother sent me home with is 7" from tip of finger x 9" at 2nd ring which he has had in me, but I cannot get in on my own, and 10" around at the third/last ring. He says when we can get it in I will be able to take a hand. From what you say, it sounds like my dildos might be long enough to prep me, but need to be fatter? My rt hand is 8" from tip of middle finger to wrist and 9.25' around at widest. Brother's is very similar to mine without measuring it to be sure. The other plug I have is 4.75" x 8" but cannot get it to stay seated in me. Can see where it is not really facilitating taking a hand due to it's length even if I could keep it in. The plugs are awkward for me to use on myself and too slippery. Still curious about an inflatable one. I wonder if they come in good lengths. Will have to go online and see what is available. Brother does not want to make me sore or chaf me by using too many toys on my ass while the works my hole or to take his hand out and work it back in many times. Says slow pushing to the point I have to relax more and just let it in is the best way for my greatest experience and pleasure. Do you agree?

[crotchshaver]

I'm having success using a large inflatable dildo with a firm foam core from http://www.brownbottle.com/inin.html

Mine is the "G" model - 13.5" (length) x 2.75" (diameter) - foam core inflatable - $49

I have the same size without the foam core from another retailer and it's a total waste of money because it's impossible to insert.

The solid one is 8.625 inches in circumference uninflated, and I have worked up to where I can "open up" with it. I pump it up 10 times, then relax, then 10 more. I hold it in until I can't stand it anymore. I keep pumping it up more and have gotten to 60 pumps. Removed, that's equivalent to a circumference of 11.5 inches at the depth I can get it.

[HansIndeep]

L2C and Others,
Training and preperation ahead of a fisting session is different than what you do as warming up during a fisting session.
Warming up
"Says slow pushing to the point I have to relax more and just let it in is the best way for my greatest experience and pleasure. Do you agree?"

NO! I do not...for most people. Everyone is different in what gets them relaxed and open. HOWEVER - Having fisted a LOT of holes, the back and forth fucking motion works best to massage most holes open. The in and out fucking (NOT exiting the hole) gradually gets the hole relaxed and open. The fucking in and out does something else. Steady fucking beyond the point of the asshole loosening and relaxing gets the hole turned on resulting in escelating pleasure levels. Escelating to the point of anal orgasm :) !!
Things just get warmed up after the first 50-100 constant pace fucking strokes. The feeling gets better from there. Changing pace, starting stopping can prevent this from working and piss off a bottom that knows what pleasures can be had with good technique. Just sticking things in your ass may feel good, but only 10% of the pleasure to be had.
Sufficient lube INSIDE the hole and of all tools/hands is needed not to have friction and not make the hole raw or sore. Push or squirt lube in the hole, not just the olutside. Tools and hands need to be kept totally coated with lube and relubed as needed. Gloves need to fit perfectly smooth! No wrinkles, no textured gloves.
Work with solid tools to train your ass. Blow up toys and plugs can be used to play and jerk off with, butt do not rely on them to train your ass to take a good fist fucking to anal orgasm.

Hans